


Love that stays

by NatalieRyan



Series: Jot it down July [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Love, Past and Present, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Secret Relationship, Sex, Sex in the woods, Smut, Steve is a sap and romantic, Stucky - Freeform, Top Steve Rogers, inspired by a fan art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 09:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15554253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: Steve absolutely enjoyed the view. Bucky with his eyes closed, jaw slack and relaxed, quiet moans escaping his lips. He looked absolutely wrecked; his usually neat and slick hair was disheveled, his lips, those red and plump lips, shining under the moonlight. The million stars stretching to eternity across the never-ending dark velvet of the sky. Steve could get used to this sight. Oh how he wished he could draw this scene.





	Love that stays

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lunedd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunedd/gifts).



> The first idea for a story in the MCU, specifically the Captain America movies came to me right after watching CA: TFA and I spoilered myself with a small scene of CA: TWS. After all 3 of the movies and numerous ideas later, I finally have a fic that's finished. And as always it's smut... with feelings. And angst. So, there you go, my first Stucky fan fic. And if you try to tell me there is not a spark between them, just remember Bucky's heart eyes for Steve in that back alley.   
> This fic was inspired by a fan art I saw over on tumblr back in May. I got instantly inspired and only got the right moment to get to write it now. And I'm placing it under the Jot it down July challenge for the Saturday tag: Smuturday. I asked tari-aldarion if I can post the stories that were inspired by the Jot it down July challenge and she said I may add the stories, so here is one of them.   
> The link to the art that inspired this fic: http://c0ffeebee.tumblr.com/post/115071303037/hush-bucky-has-some-difficulty-staying-quiet
> 
> Hope you'll like it and that I'll come back with a new story in this fandom soon.  
> For my babe, Lunedd :**

**1944**

 

"Do you remember the last night we got to spend together before you went overseas?" Steve carefully asked.

  
Bucky was only a couple of months back from the Red Skull's place where he was kept and tortured by Zola. He wasn't in the greatest head space when Steve got to him, but with time they ventured back to the other. Their love for each other helped.

  
Steve still felt Bucky's lips on his. His touch scorching on his skin. The promise to not win the war before Steve joined. Just something between them.   
Steve loved this man with all he got. He only hoped Bucky was still in love with him.

   
"You are kidding me, punk? I remember every single moment I got to spend with you. I still remember having to cancel on Bonnie and Connie so I can come back to you faster."

  
"I love you, Bucky. I always have. Always will."

  
"I love you, too, Stevie." Bucky touched his forehead to Steve's. "I just want us to be able to tell the world that we love each other. Not to hide behind dames and fake dates."

  
"I know, Bucky. I want that for us, too." Now it was Steve's turn to sigh. "Maybe one day."

  
"But until then, we can have fun, right?"

  
The big puppy dog eyes and that seductive smile made Steve blush fiercely.

 

"Jesus Bucky."

  
"You know me, always the slut, Stevie."

  
Steve touched Bucky on the cheek and placed a feather-like kiss on his nose.

  
"You are my everything, Buck. You know that, right?"

  
"Yeah, I do..."

  
"C'mon, brighten up Sarge. I didn’t say we can’t have our fun."

  
"Really?"

  
"Would I leave my best guy hanging? Not a chance. Let's get a bit private."

 

"But we are in our own tent already."

  
"I want to make this night special."

  
Bucky followed Steve, falling in step behind him, towards the part of the woods that was close to their camp, but also far from prying eyes and ears should some of their comrades wake up.

  
They were all exhausted after their last successful mission. It wasn't long since they formed the Howling Commandos, but they seemed to be working pretty good together as a team. And Steve was the person everyone looked up to. Bucky always smiled whenever someone mentioned Steve's name or Captain America, he looked up to the guy way before the world heard of the entertainer slash Captain.

  
Bucky missed skinny and stubborn Steve. He wasn't averse to the new 6'1" bulk of a man. And the lack of any illnesses was the greatest bonus of all. But all that Bucky wanted to, was keep the innocence of the man he left behind when he went abroad to fight in the war.

  
It seemed like Steve sensed what Bucky was thinking about because he squeezed his hand.

  
"It's me, Buck."

  
Bucky somehow relaxed but Steve could clearly see the wheels turning in his head.

 

They found a clearing, deep enough in the woods to not be noticed or disturbed and a good visual for Steve in case he needed to break through to the camp.  
There were big rocks that Steve eyed for a moment and deemed them safe for sitting. Both he and Bucky sat and faced each other. The embers of the fire that burned between the two tents they set up tonight reflected in Bucky's blue-grey eyes that held an emotion, a thought Steve was not able to identify.

  
"Look, Buck, I..."

  
"It's not that I don't want you the way you are now, Steve. Or love you less. It's more like the way I found out about this experiment. Do not get me wrong, I understand the sensitivity of your file and what really happened... I'm trying to imagine my mom fainting when she saw you after the procedure."

  
"She, um, your family doesn't know about the serum. No one does except those that were in the room that day. We kept it a secret and..."

  
Bucky stared at Steve. "But, she... my family loves you like you are part of it, _you are part of it Steve_ , you could've just left her a note or something. She must be worried sick!"

  
"Shhhh, Buck. She knows. Once I joined the war, right after the rescue, I wrote her a letter."

  
"Okay... okay." Bucky took a deep breath. "What was I saying? Ah, yes, what I think of this new Steve," He smiled shyly, "I was drugged and kept strapped on that table for so long I couldn't discern reality from dreams, Steve. I still have nightmares. I..." Bucky hated that his voice broke and he had to fight the tears.

  
"Bucky..." Steve took Bucky's hand in his and interlaced their fingers. "I'm here for you. Whatever it is, you don't have to bear it alone. I can take the brunt of it.”

  
"That's the thing, Steve, I know you can. You are this strong man now, all grown up and I'm finding it hard to believe that this is my little Stevie that I prayed hard for every night. I still do. Don't want you to die, Steve. I... Why am I like this?"

 

“You are strong, Bucky. Stronger than I ever will be. And it’s okay. We’re allowed to break down.”

  
They were supposed to have fun. Bucky was ruining it with his sad talk. Pulling Steve in his personal dark ocean.

  
"James Buchanan Barnes!" Steve said in his commanding voice. That got Bucky's immediate attention. "You listen to me very carefully right now."

  
Bucky nodded and put his other hand over Steve's where their fingers were twined and started drawing patterns on the inside of Steve’s wrist.

  
"I love you. I can't even imagine what you went through when I was smaller and sick almost every second day. I know that you must have been scared that I'd die and leave you. But that's over. I'm healed and we are together again. No need to worry and fear."

  
"When I saw you in the room, I thought I started seeing things. Said to myself 'This is it, Bucky, you are going crazy'. But it turned out that it wasn't my vivid imagination nor nightmares. It was really you. And for the first time, I wasn't scared that you'd die from the flu or the scarlet fever."

  
"What were you scared of, then?"

  
"I was scared of you dying in the field. I know that it'll happen, sooner or later. Half of the time I'm not sure why we are fighting in this stupid Goddamn war, because all it does is hurt people. Innocent people..."

  
"Buck..."

  
"You know everyone asks me why I don't hang in bars or try to charm the women."

  
That was one hell of a subject change, but Steve let Bucky tell what lay inside his heart.

  
"And? Why don't you do that, Bucky?"

  
"The answer to the second question is, I don’t think I’ll have to keep my cover anymore.”

 

Steve raised an eyebrow.

 

“C’mon Stevie, you really thought I’d look at other girls, _and boys_ for that matter when I had you?”

 

“Still don’t know why-"

 

Bucky kissed him to shut Steve up.

 

“Shush.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Now, the answer to the first question is: because the son of a bitch who experimented on me in his lab gave me something. And I can hold my liquor now and I'm afraid they'd catch up on that if I drink them all under the table."

  
"You have the serum, too?!" Steve shouted in surprise.

  
"Quiet, Steve, don't want everyone to know that!"

  
"I'm sorry, it's just... I'm... why didn't you-?"

  
"At first I didn't know what it was. But after the Red Skull revealed his true face and the comment Zola made about Erskine and the experiment, I knew. It didn't seem relevant, because at the time I didn't feel any change. At least you got bigger and better. I? I stayed the same."

  
"Maybe it’s just enhanced strength and the other senses. We’ll check it out. Look at it this way, Bucky. Now your head fits between my neck and shoulder when we hug."   
That made Bucky let out a chuckle.

  
"Yes, it does. The perks of being the bigger one in the relationship. I enjoyed it while it lasted.”

  
"Only by an inch Buck."

  
"Yeah, well, it's enough. I'm sorry, I know I said I wanted us to have fun tonight, but my brain can't shut up sometimes and..."

  
"It's okay, baby. I just want you to promise me something."

  
"What?"

  
"Next time you get scared about something or you fear for my safety, you tell me, okay? No matter what, you come to me. I want to help you. You promise?"

  
"I promise."

  
"And one more thing. Never in million years think that I don't need you, Buck. I know you were thinking that, don't deny it. Saw it in your eyes and actions. I'll always need you. No exceptions. Understood?"

  
Bucky crushed their mouths together and pulled Steve in his lap. Steve almost missed and sat on the ground, but Bucky's strong arms took a firm hold of him.

 

“Yes, Cap. Understood.” Bucky whispered against Steve’s lips and kissed Steve again.

  
The kiss turned heated soon and their previous talk of the night was forgotten as their mouths met for the first time in... Steve forgot how long it was. He kissed like a thirsty man in a desert that found his oasis while Bucky kissed like he wanted to remember how Steve tasted. Bucky figured soon enough that Steve tasted the same, and that the only thing that changed was his exterior, his body. He only got bigger, not better. He was already the best for Bucky.

  
Bucky grinned against Steve's lips and Steve gazed at him lovingly.

  
"What's on your mind sweetheart?"

 

"Sweetheart?"

  
"Yes, you are my sweetheart. Do you not want me to call you that?"

  
"Oh, no please do. I like the sound of that."

 

"My sweetheart. I love you."

  
Bucky signed ‘I love you, punk’ to Steve even though he knew Steve could hear him perfectly now. Steve kissed Bucky harder, biting his lower lip, asking for entrance. Bucky opened his mouth and welcomed Steve's tongue that explored like this was the first and the last time he'll have a chance to do it.

  
"You taste like chocolate." Steve stated as he worked his mouth lower and kissed Bucky on the jaw, going lower.

  
"That's because I ate a chocolate truffle earlier."

  
Steve raised his eyebrows at that admission. Bucky just shrugged. His cheeks were pink in embarrassment, Steve knew those particular sweets were rare.

  
"It's okay, Bucky. I'm not gonna tell anyone." And he resumed the trek that his mouth mapped on Bucky's skin.

  
Steve slowly raised the hem of Bucky's blouse, and let his hand linger over the taut muscle, right above the navel. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes still reflecting the campfire in them.

  
Effectively removing the piece of clothing, Steve continued with the kisses, Bucky making those delicious little sounds that had Steve fall in love with him even more. Bucky was loud in bed, and whenever they had the chance to do this in their apartment, he had to muffle his screams in a pillow or blanket.

  
Steve smiled over a pec, and nipped at it. He couldn't leave visible marks on Bucky’s neck or collarbone in case someone started asking questions, but below the collar he sure as hell could _and would_ mark his man.

  
Bucky's breathing picked up pace, and he was going crazy with how Steve was not touching him like he wanted to.

  
"Steve..."

  
"Mhm?" Steve hummed while sucking hard on Bucky's left nipple.

  
"You fucking tease... I need you to touch me, Steve."

  
And that's how Steve halted in his tracks.

  
"What? What did I do this time?" Bucky didn't want to look at Steve when the rejection came. He was broken, damaged goods now, and Bucky should've known better before he asked for this. 

  
"You didn't do anything. You are perfect, Buck. It's just, about the touching... I know you didn't want any of us to touch you without permission after..."

  
Bucky lifted his head and looked at Steve that looked so sad, his own heart constricted. Damn him and not discussing this before they got here.

  
"I still don't want to be touched without permission." Bucky admitted. "But, I want you to touch me, Steve. You are the only person I trust with my life and all that's mine. I know you won't hurt me. I like to feel you on my body, Steve. I want you to leave your prints and marks on me. Because I'm yours."

  
Steve couldn't believe his ears. Where was the charmer and easy going Bucky that he remembered from back in Brooklyn? The one that could charm the skirt off of every lady he met.

  
"It's still me, Stevie. Just not me. You should get that better than anyone."

  
Steve could face palm himself because he actually said that out loud. And yes, he could understand Bucky.

  
"But you'll tell me if it's too much or if I'm hurting you, right?"

  
"I will. But I know you won't hurt me."

  
Steve sealed that with a kiss, a kiss that spoke more than what his words could. He sat in Bucky's lap again, caging his hips, and grinding his ass over Bucky's cock that was half-hard already.

  
Steve removed his own blouse, letting Bucky see for himself the way he looked now. Bucky let his gaze roam over the planes of abs and those pecs that now held a strong beating heart and he put his hand over it. To feel the life that was waiting to be lived.

  
Steve smiled at him and entwined their fingers right over his heart, with the other cupping Bucky's cheek and giving him a gentle caress.

  
Bucky's mouth traced a heated trail with kisses down Steve's stomach, worshipping his abs and licking his way down that happy trail that was blocked by Steve's pants.

  
"You know Stevie, there are perks of the serum. I can bite love marks on your body without the fear that I'll hurt you or make you bleed."

  
Steve almost melted. Bucky was too good for this world. Only if this war didn't start at all...

  
He was taken back to the here and now by Bucky's insistent tug at his pants, but with the weird angle, he couldn't push past the narrow of his hips.

  
"Here, let me help you." Steve said lowly and moved so they were both standing now.

  
He carefully removed his pants and underpants, doing the same for Bucky, placing them on the rocks they just sat on. Socks and shoes were carelessly thrown next to the clothes and then it was just Steve and Bucky, dog tags gleaming under the light of the moon.

  
Bucky stared at Steve appreciatively before sinking on his knees.

  
"The serum has its perks, alright."

  
"See something you like?" Steve was self-conscious, he knew that he wasn't that attractive back in the day. Half of the time he wondered what Bucky saw in him.   
"You know I loved you even when you were smaller. But this is... Can I?"

  
And how could Steve deny those eyes and kiss-swollen lips?

  
Steve nodded and a second later he had Bucky's mouth wrapped around the head of his cock. Steve groaned and his hands went automatically in Bucky's hair. Bucky seemed to like the tug because he moaned when Steve pulled on the hairs a little.

  
Bucky licked the length of the vein on the underside of Steve's cock. He sucked hard on the head and then took the cock even deeper in his mouth. Bucky used his hand to massage and fondle Steve's balls, and pressed his thumb right over the rim of Steve’s hole. Steve shouted, and then promptly bit on his lip to stop himself from being too loud. They couldn't risk the others seeing them.

  
There was already precome dripping out of the slit, gathering on Bucky's tongue. Bucky hollowed his cheeks and relaxed his throat as he took the whole of Steve's cock and deep throated him. The feeling of Steve’s cock in his mouth after so long was invigorating. He liked the weight of the heated flesh on his tongue, the way it pulsed while he licked and sucked.

 

Bucky felt like he was in a trance as he pulled off of Steve’s cock with an obscenely loud pop and kissed the head of it lovingly.

 

Steve blushed beautifully and a fine sheen of sweat covered his body. Despite the generally cold weather and the wind that caressed his skin, Steve felt hot all over.

 

Bucky dove right back in, taking all of Steve’s cock in his mouth this time. He stayed there for a bit before he swallowed couple of times. He could feel Steve was close.

 

“Oh, Buck. Those lips of yours. Taking my cock so good.”

 

Bucky smiled around Steve’s cock and took it impossibly deeper.

 

The orgasm was wrenched from Steve as he spilled down Bucky’s throat. Bucky swallowed everything and released Steve’s cock from his mouth. It hit against Steve’s lower abdomen with a wet slap, rapidly filling again. Bucky took a deep breath and looked to see Steve’s conspicuous smirk. 

 

“What the hell?”

 

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but Bucky was faster.

 

“You know, save it. Enough serum talks for the night.”

 

Steve chuckled as he helped Bucky on his feet.

 

“You mad at me Buck?”

 

“Nope. Just jealous.”

 

“Why? It’s all yours.”

 

The devilish grin on Bucky’s face should have given Steve the warning, but nothing prepared him for Bucky pouncing and tackling him in the wet grass.

 

“Oh, come on! Bucky, you’ll pay for this!”

 

“And how you’ll make me pay, Stevie?” Bucky panted as he straddled Steve’s hips and hissed at the naked contact of their dicks.

 

Instead of an answer Steve set his feet flat on the ground and lifted his hips, grinding his cock against Bucky’s.

 

“Fuck you, Steve. You better do something about it or else I’ll explode.”

 

“Right pocket of my uniform pants.”

 

It turned out that those were the magic words because Bucky found a jar of petroleum jelly in it.

 

“Steve…”

“We’ll do it your way, Buck.”

 

“You… I want you inside me.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure.”

 

Steve took the jar from Bucky’s hands and opened it.

 

“Come closer, Buck.”

 

Bucky obliged, resuming his position on top of Steve. He leaned to kiss his secret lover and bit gently on those pink lips.

 

After a while he felt a tug and he moved forward, feeling Steve’s hand come up on one ass cheek.

 

Bucky sighed as Steve parted his cheeks and one finger started circling the rim. Steve pushed a finger inside, Bucky’s hole clenching around it. Bucky’s face was scrunched up like he was in pain. Steve didn’t want to see that look and while Bucky adjusted to the intrusion he decided to get Bucky’s mind off of it.

 

“Touch yourself, baby. Let me see that pretty cock of yours.”

 

Bucky didn’t lose time and took his cock in his hand. Steve moaned as he watched the hot and flushed length glide smoothly in Bucky’s fist. They used to jerk off together back in the day, but it never ceased to amaze Steve how skilled was Bucky with his hands. He could still feel Bucky’s deft fingers around his own cock.

 

“Take them both in hand, Bucky.”

 

Bucky took some of the petroleum jelly in his hand and slicked both cocks to gain more friction. When flesh met flesh, Bucky gasped and pleasure shot through his body as he felt Steve add a second finger. The stretch didn’t burn him anymore and the only thing he could feel were sparks of pleasure. And then Steve scissored his fingers and Bucky almost flew off of Steve.

 

“That good, Buck? Hitting the good spot?”

 

“Yes, Steve. Keep going.”

 

Steve absolutely enjoyed how Bucky moved frantically over him, jerking them both off and fucking himself on Steve’s fingers.

 

On his next thrust, Steve added a third finger. He was careful not to hurt Bucky and he knew that while his cock would have no trouble getting in with Bucky being stretched by only two fingers, after the serum Steve knew he had to make sure Bucky was comfortable and open enough to take it.

 

Steve absolutely enjoyed the view. Bucky with his eyes closed, jaw slack and relaxed, quiet moans escaping his lips. He looked absolutely wrecked; his usually neat and slick hair was disheveled, his lips, those red and plump lips, shining under the moonlight. The million stars stretching to eternity across the never-ending dark velvet of the sky. Steve could get used to this sight. Oh how he wished he could draw this scene.

 

Steve closed his eyes and saved the sight to memory, promising to himself he’ll sketch it the first chance he got free.

 

On top of him, Bucky’s movements became erratic and fast. Steve suddenly removed his fingers and batted Bucky’s hand away from his cock. The whine he got in return made him giggle.

 

“You are adorable, Stevie, you know that? Especially when you giggle.”

 

“I did not giggle.”

 

“Don’t deny it. You giggled.”

 

“I’ll show you giggling.”

 

And that’s how Bucky found himself on his back and trying to contain the bouts of laughter threatening to escape as Steve tickled him.

 

“Stop, Steve.” Bucky was the one giggling now as he tried to catch his breath.

 

“I love you.” and Steve kissed him gently.

 

Bucky stared at the sky above Steve and thought that Steve’s twinkling eyes made great addition to the stars dotting the expanse of dark.

 

Steve was careful when he entered Bucky, going slow, torturously slow, it felt like ages until he was flush with Bucky’s ass. He stayed still for a moment, letting Bucky adjust to the girth (and the size) of his cock. He caressed gently at Bucky’s jutted hip bones. Steve couldn’t help but notice that where Bucky strengthened in muscle, he lost weight.

 

Bucky took both of Steve’s hands in his and interlaced their fingers. He nodded and Steve moved, _finally_. He alternated between going deep and slow and fast and shallow. Bucky’s broken moans and whimpers urged him to go faster, but he wanted this to last. His dog tags made a clicking sound as they hit against his chest with every move forward of his body.

 

Steve brought his and Bucky’s intertwined hands above Bucky’s head as he leaned and captured sinful lips in a hard kiss and changed the angle, hitting Bucky’s prostate dead on. Bucky moaned, loud and long, but said moan was swallowed by Steve’s lips. An idea came to Steve as he slowly let go of Bucky’s hands and moved Bucky’s legs so his knees bracketed Steve’s hips.

 

“Put your hands over my neck and hold still.”

 

Bucky nodded and did as he was told. Steve picked Bucky up in his arms and brought him against the tree trunk he spotted and was closest to them. That angle brought Steve to drive deeper in Bucky. Bucky shouted as he held on for dear life while Steve propped him against the tree and kept him from falling down.

 

Steve brought one of his hands over Bucky’s mouth, it was clear that this was where things got louder. Hitching Bucky’s leg higher, he put his hand back over Bucky’s mouth.

 

Bucky looked in Steve’s eyes for the whole time Steve thrusted in and out, finding a rhythm that was gonna get them both pleasure.

 

“Will you be quiet for me, baby?” Bucky nodded fervently and a second later Steve removed his hand from Bucky’s mouth.

 

Steve took one of Bucky’s legs and spread it even wider. The change made his dick brush over Bucky’s prostate. Steve could feel the tell-tale signs of Bucky’s orgasm. It took three more thrusts and Bucky was spilling his seed all over him and Steve, burying his head in Steve’s shoulder to muffle his screams.

 

Steve doubled his efforts after that, holding Bucky tight to himself and screamed soundlessly as he emptied inside his lover and kissed the side of Bucky’s face.

 

They stayed like that for a while before quietly retreating to their tent.

 

…

 

**2015**

 

Feet padded on the floor as Steve got to finish his sketch. He looked at the outcome and released a heavy breath. It was an entire lifetime ago that he got to experience this feeling of love and affection. He still remembered the flames of the campfire, the embers of fire reflecting in blue-grey orbs, the ecstasy and pleasure while they made love under the open sky. The stars and the moon their only witness. Their forbidden love, secret that never got out. They were too careful to let it slip.

 

Steve could cry with how much things changed in 70 years. There was still hate. Still people that didn’t accept the concept of boy loving a boy or girl loving a girl. Or loving both boys and girls. But the majority was open-minded and had no problem who did what. If you asked Steve, it was no one’s business who he loved and who he got to take home so they can do things… that lit the spark inside him and he smiled.

 

The reason behind the drawing approached and Steve admitted to himself that he felt happy. After all this time, losing the love of his life in the Alps, falling to what he thought was his death; sacrificing himself in the name of love for his country (although the name in his heart was stenciled in three big block letters: JBB). After waking up, being frozen for so long and coming to a world he didn’t understand. But, everything seemed like a distant memory and nothing he couldn’t deal with.

 

Bucky sat heavily on the couch. It was clearly one of his bad mornings and Steve winced in sympathy. He felt like that, too, once upon a time. Although Bucky’s state of mind was tenfold worse than his. Steve wasn’t the brainwashed assassin that killed numerous people and had to deal with the aftermath of the information being leaked online.

 

Steve rubbed his temples. A headache was worming its way and he hated that it wasn’t even 8 a.m. and he had to deal with it.

 

“Good morning, Buck.” Steve went with cautious and gentle. Anything could trigger Bucky these days.

 

“I had a dream last night.” the raspy and hoarse voice of the person Steve never stopped loving brought Steve’s full attention to him.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes. We were… I was in a wood, I think it was a wood. There was a fire and tents. I had shorter hair and something around my neck? Like necklace.” Bucky stopped for a moment, replaying his dream most likely. “We were naked.”

 

Steve could cry. He closed his eyes and squeezed them so the tears won’t start.

 

“Steve? Did I do something wrong?”

 

“Oh, no, Bucky, it’s just… You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m glad you are here with me. And that you are trusting me enough to share things with me.”

 

Bucky looked like he was assessing the situation, his brow scrunched up in thought and his head tilted to the side.

 

“It’s not a dream, is it?”

 

“No, it’s not.”

 

“So, that means that…”

 

“Yes. It looks like you are starting to remember.” Steve smiled at Bucky. “Looks like the doctor was right. You are doing great.”

 

“Can I ask you a question, Steve?”

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

“In my dream, I liked kissing you. I remember bits and pieces of the dream where you would kiss me and then I’d kiss you… were we in a relationship?”

 

Steve blushed. A weird thought of Steve being adorable when he blushed came to Bucky. Although it shouldn’t be so weird, because they clearly covered all the bases at some point of their life.

 

“I don’t know how much you and the therapist talk about this new world, but back in the day… God, I feel so old.”

 

“Look at it this way, Stevie. You get to joke around with the others. Actually use grandpa jokes.”

 

“What even-?”

 

“The internet. Don’t ask.”

 

“Anyway… the world wasn’t as accepting then as it is now. We had to hide our love behind ladies. Mostly you. I was a skinny little fella that no one gave a second glance to.”

 

“Shame.”

 

Steve felt the ball of hope in his heart flutter to life slowly as he could hear his Bucky talk; not the Winter Soldier, not the Asset, but James Buchanan Barnes. _Could it be…?_

 

“Um, Bucky, did you just call me, ‘Stevie’?”

 

Now Bucky was the one that blushed.

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

“So, that means that this is not your first memory?”

 

“No. I was gonna wait till your birthday to give you the good news, because I’m not sure if that’s even possible, but I feel happy. I feel like I belong. And you helped with that, so thank you for not giving up on me and not treating me like I’m unworthy.”

 

“You are worth it, Buck. You are worth it. Everything.”

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Bucky slotted his lips against Steve’s. It felt like he was coming home after a long day. Steve tasted the same as always, even though Bucky didn’t know where that thought had come from. He kissed like he’d never get the chance to again.

 

“I’m not sure if it’s possible to forget about loving someone… but this familiar feeling inside, I think I’m falling in love with you Steve Rogers.”

 

“I love you Bucky Barnes.”

 

Bucky scooted closer and practically cuddled Steve. He wasn’t prone to touching and physical contact much, but it turned out that he was on a good way of healing.

 

“What were you working on before I got here?”

 

“Actually, I think my drawing and your dream have a lot in common.”

 

And that’s now Steve spent the entire morning explaining his drawings to Bucky and Bucky looking at some sort of a secret, something only he was privy to. He was the VIP, he got to touch and look and ask…

 

“Steve?”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Do we get to hide?”

 

“No, not anymore.”

 

“I didn’t mean that hiding.”

 

“Oh.” _OH!_ “You are asking me-?”

 

“About us, yeah.”

 

“No, we don’t have to hide, Bucky. But, we are going to go slow, on your terms. All that you are comfortable with. No sudden turns or regrets.”

 

“I can do that.”

 

“Then follow me. I have something to show you.”

 

Steve led Bucky to a room in their apartment that was filled with sketchbooks, old papers and files. Bucky realized this must be some sort of a place where Steve came to look for answers and provoke memories himself.

 

“Sharon Carter, Peggy’s niece gave me a box not long ago. She said Peggy kept these all this time, together as they always should be.”

 

Bucky recognized the clink of the metal of the plates and was instantly drawn back to his dream/memory.

 

“I’m not sure if it applies still, but there was a tradition going on between soldiers. One of your pair of dog tags… you got to give it to your loved one, or significant other. Or your family if you didn’t have anyone else but them.”

 

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat.

 

“You are my family, Buck. You are my soulmate, my significant other. My loved one. You are it. I want you to have them.”

 

Bucky nodded wordlessly as he slipped the dog tags around Bucky’s neck.

 

Bucky touched the metal where the indentation of Steve’s name, rank and basic information were etched. He smiled at Steve. He then picked the other pair of dog tags and saw his name on them. He slipped them around Steve’s neck.

 

It felt so familiar. They were still healing. Bucky had a long road to get his memories back. To be normal again. He got Steve. And Steve got him. And Bucky was sure they’d get to the point where it won’t hurt like this anymore. 

 

It wasn’t the end of the line yet.


End file.
